*Welcome to band. It'll be a great year.                                                                 ~Translation: Welcome to hell and I will try and make life as miserable for you UNLESS you're a musical genius. Then I will favor you over everyone.

----- *Don't worry, just keep trying. ~Translation: WHY can't you get it right you imbecile?! ----- *We have three months to learn this music. ~Translation: We have three months to learn this music, but it's going to seem like one if you slack off ....then you're screwed. ----- *Oh, this music will be very easy for you guys. ~Translation: This music should be really easy but it'll still take you over a month to learn the first page. ----- *Have fun over the weekend! ~Translation: PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, and did I mention PRACTICE? ----- *We're going to have a chair test tomorrow. ~Translation; We're going to have a chair test tomorrow but I'm going to forget to test half of the band then completely forget about the band test for a month. ----- *Great job tenor sax. ~Translation: I really have no idea where the tenor sax is located and truthfully I don't care and I know his part sucks, but I'm saying it just so he doesn't revolt against me and beat me with his saxophone. ----- *Look at me every three seconds. ~Translation: Look at me every one second. ----- *This is the last time. ~Translation: We will keep playing this piece over and over and over until you idiots get it right or until my arms fall off from conducting. ----- *We won't stop this time (Or this is a complete run through). ~Translation: I will stop for the smallest mistake and then we will begin from the beginning. ----- *We have such great trumpets. ~Translation: The trumpets are arrogant fools but I'm only saying they're good so they won't revolt against me. ----- *I know you guys will do great. ~Translation: On the areas you had perfect you will mess up and vice versa. ----- *You guys are the best band. ~Translation: I say this every year. It has no meaning. ----- *I'll miss you guys. ~Translation: I can't wait for you guys to get out of this room so I can go home. ----- *I just love teaching band. ~Translation: God, I hate this job.